Pictures
by NataliaBoaVista
Summary: Eric's got a new cell phone. His favourite feature? The camera. One shot.


**So after reading this, oh, maybe five times, I came to the conclusion that it wasn't _as_ sucky as I was thinking it was. It's still pretty sucky. A few of the characters are OOC, at least in my views of them on TV compared to this, and a bit immature. I don't know why I chose Eric as the main character for this, I guess it was just his lucky day... or not. :D I tried to keep the best ship ever OUT of the story, but come on, who's gonna get in the way of true Eric/Calleigh love? Reviews are always held dearly to my heart. **

**WARNING: Horrendous imagery created by the one and only Dan Cooper. xD **

**REAL WARNING: There is a spoiler in this for the season 6 episode "Down to the Wire". Doesn't give away too much though.**

_Oh yea, new phone. Watch Wolfe brag about his now_, Eric thought as he entered the Miami Dade Crime Lab.

Fiddling with the cell phone still, he stepped through the doors. Immediately Horatio was in his face, talking about some crime scene with a brutally stabbed man, top priority. There were also stacks of case files Eric needed to fill out. He really wasn't in the mood for all of this depressing stuff today. He pressed buttons while Horatio talked, obviously assuming Eric was listening. Finally, Eric found what he was looking for, the camera.

"Eric? Are you listening?" Horatio asked, realizing Eric was off in his own world.

"Sure H, course I am," he said, waiting, waiting until Horatio did what he knew he'd _definitely _do before heading outside.

"Good then, get to that scene," he said, slipping his sunglasses on and turning to leave.

"Hey H?" Eric asked.

"Yes Eric?" Horatio turned back.

_Snap. _

"Perfect," Eric mumbled. "It really captures you H."

"What? What did you do?"

"I took a picture."

"Really? Let me see."

"Sure," Eric shrugged. He knew Horatio usually knew what he was talking about, but he also knew that Horatio's cell phone was an ancient one, almost as big as a real telephone. Perfect time to impress the boss. He found the album and finally the picture of Horatio, looking halfway over his shoulder, hands on his hips, sunglasses on his nose. "Look."

"Hmm, looks good if I do say so myself," Horatio said, admiring the picture of himself. Eric laughed and closed the phone.

"I'll get to that scene right away."

...

Arriving at the scene, he hopped out of the Hummer and made his way over to the court yard in which the body had been found. He walked over to and around a large fountain, to find Natalia leaning over the fountain edge, trying to take a picture of whatever was in the water. While she was leaning, Eric stood back and enjoyed the view of her back end.

Remembering his picture of Horatio, he took out his phone again, found the camera and snapped a picture.

_Snap. _

_Damn_, he didn't want her to hear the noise, especially as it sounded much like a real camera. He knew he should have changed that setting to something less noticeable, like a click that could at least pass for a text message confirmation or something.

Natalia straightened up as soon as she heard the noise. Pulling her shirt down in the back, she slowly faced Eric. "Did you just do what I think you did?"

"No?" Eric said, not bothering to close the phone or face it away from where it had been pointing, he knew he was already in trouble.

"You are such a man Eric! You did didn't you?"

"Sorry Natalia, think of it as a compliment."

"You know what? You can find someone else to work this scene with you, and you're lucky you're my friend and I know you're not a complete creep, or I'd be filing a complaint!" And with that she shoved her camera at him and walked off, taking her own cell phone out, probably to call someone else to work the scene.

Eric shrugged it off and got to work. While working, he decided he quite liked taking these pictures, and that he should try to get one from everyone. He could use them as his caller ID... except maybe the one he'd just taken of Natalia. He did have a _little _respect; he'd apologize to her, and delete the picture if she wanted him to.

...

He'd finished the scene, getting some new guy - that Natalia knew very well Eric didn't like - to replace her for the case. He went back to the MDPD and headed for the break room. He sauntered in and sat down on the couch. Ryan was in there, getting something to eat he figured. The guy _never _stopped eating. Sometimes Eric wondered how Ryan kept himself thin enough, and had time to work between all of his "fillers" as Ryan called them.

"Hey," Eric said.

Ryan turned around. "Hi," he said before smirking.

"What?" Eric asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I heard what you did today at that scene with Natalia. She's _pissed._"

"Is she? Damn it, I guess I'll have to apologize to her."

Ryan snorted. "Ya think?" They were quiet for a few seconds.

"She does have a nice ass though," Eric said, smiling up at Ryan.

"She sure does," he replied, giving him the thumbs up.

Eric laughed. "What exactly are you doing?"

He was leaning against the counter, waiting for something it looked like.

"Waiting for the toaster."

"The toaster? Why?"

Ryan rolled his eyes. "I'm making _toast_."

"Why toast? It's like," he looked at his watch, "after lunchtime."

Ryan shrugged. "I could only find bread and cheese in the fridge. It was perfect."

"_Cheese_?" Eric said.

"You've never had cheese on toast before?!" Ryan asked, surprised.

"Is that even _normal_, Ryan?"

"You're missing out," he said, leaving Eric's question unanswered. He turned around just as the toaster popped up.

Eric shook his head and sat there, curiously watching as Ryan fixed everything the way he wanted. He pulled out his phone. "Hey Ryan!" he said, urgently.

Ryan turned around to look at him, piece of toast in held between his teeth while he put cheese on the second piece. Eric pointed the cell phone at him and snapped. Ryan took the toast out of his mouth.

"What the hell did you do that for?"

"I need a picture of you for my caller ID."

"I thought you'd already used our ID photos for that!"

"That was on my old cell, besides this is much more fun."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "I guess I should be thankful you didn't take a picture of _my _ass while I wasn't looking."

Eric raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't right?"

"No I didn't Ryan, why on earth would I want a picture of that?"

"Why wouldn't you?" he said, taking a bite of his 'cheese' toast.

...

Ah, Ballistics. The perfect place to find a gorgeous blonde firing guns. Eric _did _have a thing for Calleigh, although he'd never admit to it. The only person who he thought _might _have a clue to his crush was Ryan. It was that stupid Private Investigators fault. Somehow he'd gotten a hold of those tapes, those _confidential _confessions to Eric's therapist, and played them right in front of his co-worker. Of course, Ryan was quiet and didn't say anything about it afterwards. Eric was grateful for that, but a part of him wished Ryan _would _say something about them to someone. Cooper was probably the best bet, him and his huge mouth, not to mention somehow being the center of all of the labs gossip. But, Eric didn't know how Calleigh felt, so it was best to keep it at a safe distance for the time being.

"Hello handsome," Calleigh said, coming around the corner. He loved when she called him that.

"Hey, about to do some tests?" he asked.

"Yep, feel free to watch."

Eric nodded and waited for Calleigh to finish shooting. She looked very serious when she fired, and she never missed a target. Her back was facing him, but he'd never think of taking a picture of her the way he had of Natalia. When she was finished she took some notes, retrieved the bullets and placed them on her desk, then came back over to where Eric was leaning against the wall.

"Did you need something?" Calleigh asked. "I don't have any information about your vic this morning."

"Nah, I just came to see what you were doing. I have to work with that new guy on the case."

"I thought Natalia was working that case with you?"

"Well, something came up."

Calleigh nodded slowly, while smiling.

"Oh... so you heard about Natalia huh?"

"I did, I hope you weren't doing that while I was shooting."

"No, of course not Cal."

"Good, because I'd shoot _you _if you had," she said, he knew it was playful.

"Can I take a picture of you though? I have this picture ID thing, but of course, I'd never take a candid picture of you," he smiled.

"Sure, I guess you can," she shrugged.

...

Now, Eric needed the results from Cooper, as much as he disliked the A/V tech. Walking into the lab, he looked around, Cooper nowhere in sight, although there was music playing from somewhere in the lab. He moved a little farther into the room, Cooper's computer was on. He took another step towards it before he looked down and almost toppled over Cooper's legs which happened to be sticking out of the underneath of his desk. He must not have heard Eric enter, because he was still under there, doing whatever needed to be done to his computer. Eric cringed as he looked down, the sight Cooper was creating for him wasn't a pretty one, and Eric got an eyeful of the perfect plumbers, or in this case Audio/Visual technician, crack. Figuring it would be something funny to share with all of Cooper's co-workers; he took out his phone and snapped a picture of the visually unappealing sight. Of course, he'd forgotten to change the setting again, so Cooper heard the snap. He jerked upwards, hit his head on the desk, then slowly backed out and kneeled on the floor, rubbing his head. Eric, learning his lesson with Natalia, had pocketed the phone already and was staring at Cooper.

"Man, what was that noise?" Cooper said, slowly getting up off the ground. "Sounded like a camera. I thought someone was taking a picture of my backside," he looked around the lab. "Know of any cute new lab chicks, Eric? Think they'd want a piece of this?"

Eric rolled his eyes at Cooper. "I just came to get your results on those videos earlier, and I think you're hearing things, Coop."

Cooper looked slightly disappointed. "Sure, then, yea, just let me get them." He went to his desk and looked through a few files before coming back to Eric with a file folder of his views on the video.

"Thank you!" Eric said, fleeing the room before Cooper started talking again.

Cooper stood there and watched him leave. A few minutes after Eric had left; Ryan walked in and sat down in the chair across from Cooper's desk. Cooper looked up at him, not used to having so many visitors in less than an hour. "You need something too, Ryan?"

Ryan looked up from the energy drink he'd been guzzling back. "Oh no, was Eric just in here?"

"Yea he was."

"Did he take a picture of you too?"

"No – wait, picture? I _knew _I heard a camera!"

Ryan looked confused. "You couldn't see him? What were you doing when you heard the noise?"

"I was bent down under my desk plugging my scanner back in!"

Ryan threw a disgusted look in Cooper's direction. "What is with him and butt shots today?" he said, mostly to himself.

...

A few hours later Eric was happy to finally be able to leave. He was tired of working with that new guy; he seemed to have no idea of what he was doing.

Eric was in the locker room; he'd just finished a shower and was in the process of changing his clothes. He was going to have dinner at his sisters, and his parents were going to be there, he didn't have time to go home first.

About halfway through pulling his shirt off his head, he heard the door open and close. He was about to pull his shirt back down before he heard the voice. "No no, don't mind me, I'm enjoying the view."

He couldn't see them; his shirt was covering his face, so he smirked to himself and continued. He was surprised when he felt cold hands on his chest. "Eric, you're so _sexy_, can I _please _have my way with you right now?"

Freaked out, Eric backed away from that voice that he just couldn't place. The hands came off of his chest and he heard the door to the locker room open again, and two pairs of feet shuffle inside. Not wanting to be caught with whoever was coming onto him, shirt halfway off, he backed up a bit farther, not realizing there was a bench behind him. He walked backwards into it, and it caught him under the knees. He fell backwards, over the bench and onto his butt. He heard three snaps, and yanked his shirt back down so he could see what was going on and who he'd just embarrassed himself in front of.

Instead he caught the end of Ryan handing over his cell phone to Cooper, Cooper smiling triumphantly, and Maxine Valera standing off to the side trying not to laugh out loud.

"Lots of emails Cooper, lots," Ryan was saying.

"Gladly, and I'm sure Natalia would be happy to see these as well," he said, looking at Eric with a grin and then walking out of the locker room.

Eric was too confused to say anything. "What... did you? And... Valera?!"

"Eric, we were only supposed to catch you with Valera half naked, but you made it _so _much better when you fell over that bench all by yourself!" Ryan said, laughing before leaving the locker room as well.

Eric looked at Maxine. "_What_?"

She shrugged. "Ryan told me Cooper and Natalia needed revenge, all I had to do was get you to look stupid. I know I'm good at doing that to people," she beamed.

Eric sat there, it finally sinking in that the pictures Ryan had taken on his cell phone would be emailed around the whole lab in a matter of minutes. Valera left, leaving him to sit and ponder. He finally stood up, and went back to his locker to resume changing his shirt.

"I will never take another butt shot again."

**So that was my lame one shot. :D I love reviews, I covet and hold them! It makes me feel special, and you should also feel special for reviewing and making someone feel special. :D **


End file.
